AN OCEAN FOR YOUR BLUES

I’m always happy when I’m surrounded by water, I  think I'm a mermaid-  I was a mermaid. The ocean makes me feel really small and it puts my whole life into perspective. It reminds me, okay I’m this very little piece of this huge earth and it humbles you and it grounds you and it makes me feel almost like I've been baptized and I’m born again when I get out of the ocean. I’m I the same Beyonce? Absolutely not.

-Beyonce (Year of 4 Documentary)

When I first saw this, it took all I had to not roll my eyes; either this chic was just selling out or she was trying hard to make us believe she was grounded. So the next time I was at the beach I gave it a try. I forgot all my bullshit, let myself go and I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing that felt. The chic ain’t told no lie, lol.

I come from a school where people are so uptight that you see ladies in full blown face make-up to a 7:30 class (wonder if they slept in it or woke up at 5 to get an early head start judging from how thick it is) and dudes getting all dressed up to a 20 minutes lecture. I didn't even know the extent at which I needed to unwind till I dropped in that water.

I have no idea why the gift of the ocean was granted to us but I can tell you one thing; it is one under-appreciated present!

We live in an age where people don’t want simple things anymore. People wanna be in control of the biggest things life has to offer; wanna control big companies, wanna control big cars, wanna control big bank accounts and I’m not even gonna act like I don’t want any of these because otherwise I would have shown my ’48 Rules of Power’ book to the trash can 2 years ago. But I must tell you for a day it was nice to be controlled for a change and there’s no other way to say this so I’m gonna give it to y’all straight which is ironic because the next statement questions my sexuality but… that sea made me it’s bitch! It tossed me, it pushed me and all in a good way because throughout my flips in different directions, all I could think was ‘I like the fact that for the first time I’m not trying so hard to be in control of what route my life should be heading to’. And even if it was a feeling that lasted barely a second, it was enough to remind me that every now and then, it’s okay to give ourselves a break from trying so hard to be relevant in this place where the most things people care about is what clothes you were and what car you drive.  

And then after been hurled around for a while, things took a different turn. Everything got really peaceful; it might have been from all the sun, hell it might have been from all the pot I’d been smoking but when that serenity took over, I found the true meaning of personality. Because I looked around at the huge collection of water that we call the ocean, all the living beings it houses and how much they, scratch that, how much we all depended on it and yet how it could afford to have such strong temperaments. Because yes, like a good friend once told me, the sea is alive and you can tell its moods from the waves. It’s probably in a good mood when the waves are soft and gentle against your skin but when it smashes into you without warning or seems to be roaring while at the same time sweeping you off your feet (and not in a good way), then you know something is at bay, no pun intended. But its okay, really it is. If such something this grand with so many responsibilities and burdens can allow itself to feel up and down sometimes, then we really need to cut ourselves some slack. Yes we do make mistakes and yes things don’t always go as we plan but this is just a little reminder that we can afford to fail sometimes and still let our waves flow into providing other people around us with positive energy.

It was getting late and the sun was settling in the horizon; the perfect time for me to stand and learn my last lesson for the day. Humility; Something we could all use a bit of. You realize how magnificent the ocean is and how small we are. It belittles you and humbles you in a way nothing else can because you realize that when the person swimming next to you walks out to dry themselves off, nothing changes. Everything remains the same and you get a glimpse of how brittle life is and how our death makes no significant change in the sphere of things. You are humbled because you’re just a little piece of such a huge creation and it inspires you because you realize how much you have to strive to leave an indelible mark on the world as a whole.

I’m positive you have rolled your eyes over a thousand times already from reading this article and been thinking of how I think I’m some deep, soul-searching prude. I totally agree with you, I aint shit and I know you and I are both from a country where such sentimental crap is not tolerated, especially from men. But regardless of what your sex is and where you find yourself, everyone should have the privilege of going through what I experienced at the beach that day at least once in their lifetime. So do me a favor please, next time you go to the beach, do not only strip of your clothes but disrobe yourself of all your worries, lie down quietly in the ocean and allow it to teach some wonderful stuff. Please? 

.......
K.D

RUN TYSON, RUN!

Another activity I can cross off my 'To-Do list' for this year. This a pretty huge deal for me cuz I'm a guy who is on quite friendly terms with procrastination (he drops by quite often nowadays to ensure I do my work; which is basically nothing).

I get teased quite a lot by my friends cuz they say I don't miss any opportunity to have my image captured and stored in digital memory. Well they don't understand me- I do this for 2 reasons. First, have you heard Chipmunk's rap in the Emily Sande assisted song 'diamond rings?'............ "I know lord, with a face like mine How the hell could I be camera shy''.......... That's my favorite line in the song and I'm not saying it has anything to do with my point but....... well that's my favorite line in the song, lol.

Secondly, I had the privilege of spending some quality time with my grandpa last holidays and the one thing he kept on doing as the only surviving elderly relative of his generation was going through old photos of himself and friends and of activities he had done during his younger days. Seeing how much these little pieces of 'reminders' put smiles on his face, obviously of good memories and good feelings made me realize how great it was to keep memories. Photos, videos, Blogs.... anything I could go through when i was old, rusty and my grandchildren were scared to come near me cuz of the wrinkles on my skin.

If I could have my image captured and get paid in the process, why the HELL not??? looool. These aren't the real deal though, just some background goofs the rest of the guys and I did when the professional photographer took his cheque and left.

.......
K.D 

DARLING

I held real dead bodies in my arms
Felt their body turn cold, oh
Why we born in the first place
If this is how we gotta go?
Damn.

These are lyrics from 'sabali',a song from 'distance relative'- my favorite Hip Hop album of all time.
And they are lyrics I have heard about a thousand times before, the number of times i have listened
to that album. It takes a situation to really comprehend some words and for the first time ever, i
finally understood the last but one line in that lyrics.

Last night was great. I boozed, I smoked, I danced till the DJ gave me a shout out on the dance floor,
I was drunk but i can assume 'guy in the black V-neck' was me. When i was young, I watched movies
where people drowned their sorrows in alcohol and I thought that was unrealistic and stupid. Well last night was unrealistic and stupid.

She is the most beautiful 5yr old in the world, the object of my distress. She has a smile that can light up the world. She has a laugh that can put angels to shame and the strength in her spirit is unbeatable; many days when i was going through rotten adult stuff, just a tug on my shirt and a look down at her toothless smile
always got a chuckle out of me. I would yell 'sit down quietly' over a thousand times in exhaustion on baby sitting favors because of all the 5yr-olds i knew, she had some energy on her. An energy that began to fade.

I am 21, I lie, I cheat, I steal, I do wrong but here I am, healthy and full of dreams and aspirations. There she is- below a decade old and the worse she ever did was pinch her younger brother and lie about why he was crying.Worse aspect is she doesn't even understand why her body is changing, why she is growing weaker by the day and why she has to be taking shots and pills while her friends play outside and shriek. When perhaps shes even smarter than them, prettier, more full of life. These may be doubts to some but a certainty for me.

This is not to question God and His ways. This is not to express anger over why such a young and delicate spirit should suffer because of some foolish mistakes of those that came before her. This is about allowing myself to let loose, to find a medium to unleash this great sadness that has overtaken the core of my soul.

I am writing down my emotions because after all is said and done about last night, it was a futile adventure. Because i woke up with a heavy head, an aching body and the worse of all; the painful memory that my favorite 5yr old in the entire world would go through pain before she finds peace. It makes my sadness for missing breakfast because i was broke and my constant anger because i let the most important person in my life go seem shallow and selfish. 

This about the young life of the little girl I love more than life itself. And to clear any doubt, I have cried so much, my tear duct is empty.

......
K.D

COAT OF MANY COLORS

Americans; McDonalds, Britney Spears, Statue of liberty

They were the first stuff my young mind could think of when I heard the term USA. They were nice mental pictures of obese (except then we knew them just by the widely accepted name obolo) people stuffing themselves with junk food and calories, of beautiful blonde women strutting half-naked across the screens of our neighbors TV and the ironic image of a cold looking statue with an  fire torch in hand.

Some acne-filled years later, I was reading beyond brave men fighting through dragons and thorns to kiss sleeping princess's awake, women who spoke in front of mirrors inquiring about the prettiest of them all and little boys whose noses grew longer when they lied and had abandoned waiting anxiously in front of the TV for a talking dog who solved mysteries with his friends. I was reading books and watching programs that boarded on lines of the political, social and cultural diversity of other people in other geographical areas. Mostly to impress adults who will look at my parents and say "wo ba no nim ade3 paa oh? daakye ob3y3 lawyer (Your child is brilliant, he will be a lawyer in future) ", this later turned to a habit more for myself than for others.

My interesting areas to read were especially the cultural behaviors of other young people just like myself who seemed to have life more easier and cozier. I read about prom and lasagna. I read about Saturday Night school football games, kids who could earn money just from throwing newspapers around or walking dogs. These were abstract people and a really different way of life from what I was growing up with. I longed to come in contact with people like these and of course then Facebook was absent and MySpace hadn't even been though off.

Some years later and I have come into contact with many of these individuals. Its been interesting and eye-opening.

Ghana; Africa, river bodies, agriculture, half naked kids with bright hopeful smiles on their faces with bits of dirt on their faces.

This was the first images in most, not all of their minds when they heard the term 'Ghana'. Its hard to feel offended by most of them because of something CNN showed or reported. After a few months of living here, few trips to the beautiful beaches, few tastes of the beautiful delicacies and few contact with the best spirit of people anyone could ever come in touch with, something has had to give.

This young man never had any true form of relationship with anyone of a different race outside African until about 2 months ago. Its been a time to find out that the only thing different about everybody else under this sun aside the different time rising of the sun itself is the color of their skin. Its been a time to find out that everyone, regardless of their race wants the same thing; to be happy, to love and be loved back, to make the people around us proud and to leave an indelible mark on the lives of everyone we come in contact with. To be remembered.

I have come to learn that race shouldn't be the thing that sets us apart but the glue that sticks us together in our quest to learn new things, to better ourselves and our world and to grow as human beings.

Thanks to Rachel, Jasmine, Sarah and Amelie for showing me the beauty of a raceless friendship.

......
K.D

THE FIND

BEYOND EVERY DOUBT THIS HAS BEEN THE HARDEST STAGE OF MY LIFE

IN A CROSS ROAD OF RIGHT AND WRONG

YOU'D THINK IT WAS EASY TO MAKE OUT EITHER ONE

WOULD BE IF THE LINE WASN'T SO DARN BLURRY

IM CONFUSED, INTOXICATED AND UNWELL

CONSTANTLY I HAVE THOSE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCES

EXCEPT THIS TIME IM GONE NOWHERE BUT I CANT RECOGNIZE MY MOTIONS

I KNOW, NOONE OWES ME MY HAPPINESS BUT ME

BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM THE ONE MAKING MYSELF FEEL OTHERWISE 

I HOPE ONE DAY I GET TO COME OUT OF THIS

-KELS